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33 Offensive Pools You Might Be Able To Get Away With In The Office

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One of the upper management clichés for trying to improve employee morale is, of course, the office pool. It often revolves around sports, whether it involves creating an office fantasy football league, a Super Bowl pool, a World Series pool, or something of the like. But what if they weren’t bound by political correctness? What if they could create more interesting, more offensive pools with impunity? Maybe they could try some of these…

  1. Tontine – If you are unfamiliar with a tontine, a group of coworkers throw in money and the last remaining survivor of the group keeps all the money.
  2. How long until a coworker gets dumped by the person they are dating?
  3. Who will quit first?
  4. Who will get fired first?
  5. Who will bring the shittiest food to the office potluck?
  6. Which intern is most likely to have a child out of wedlock?
  7. Will the boss’ drug addict kid relapse?
  8. How many coworkers have tried cocaine?
  9. Biggest loser. Not like losing weight, but who has the most pathetic life in the office.
  10. Which coworker has had the most STDs?
  11. Which coworker is on the longest dry streak?
  12. Which coworker is in the worst financial position?
  13. Whose alma mater is the easiest to get into?
  14. Which coworker had the worst senior superlative in high school?
  15. Will the new guy share his stapler?
  16. Is the new blonde a total airhead?
  17. Does the new brunette hate blondes?
  18. Who will be the first intern to complain about the size of the cubicles?
  19. Who will fail their random drug test?
  20. Who has a criminal record?
  21. Which female coworker is infertile?
  22. Which female coworker is most likely to hook up with a male coworker?
  23. Which female coworker is most likely to hook up with a female coworker?
  24. Which male coworker is most likely to shit where he eats?
  25. Which male coworker is most likely to get cited for sexual harassment?
  26. Who will be the first to be caught masturbating in the bathroom?
  27. What will the fat guy bring for lunch today?
  28. Will the secretary stick to her diet?
  29. Which coworker has the ugliest significant other?
  30. How many of the employees are Jewish?
  31. Which employees have been to rehab?
  32. Which of the divorced employees are scrimping on child support?
  33. How many employees have a hidden stash of drugs or alcohol?

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"Technically, Pablo Escobar was in sales."

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