- Send an office-wide email reminding everyone that it’s cold and flu season.
- Recommend sick coworkers work from home, even though your company doesn’t allow that.
- Roll your eyes every time you’re forced to say “bless you.”
- Take issue with the diagnosis they received from their doctor.
- Recommend they get a second opinion.
- Tell them, “that’s close enough,” when they walk into your office.
- Keep your door shut all damn day.
- Give unsolicited advice on how to treat symptoms.
- Tell them how you read something about the flu shot being ineffective against this year’s strain.
- Ask them if they’re feeling better every time you pass their office.
- Lecture them on the importance of washing their hands.
- Tell them that they should go home and get some sleep.
- Ask them if there’s anything you can do, but secretly hope they don’t take you up on that.
- Get a rundown of their symptoms if they claim they’re sick because of allergies.
- Carry around hand sanitizer and offer it to fellow coworkers.
- Tell them how you need to close the quarter strong and you can’t afford to get sick.
- Pull your shirt over your nose and mouth when they walk by.
- Ask them how many sick days they have left.
- Let everyone know you have some Airborne just in case.
- Advise them to avoid smoky bars.
- Ask them if they’ve been getting at least two servings of fruits and vegetables per day.
- Leave a note for the cleaning crew detailing specific instructions for sanitizing the office.
- Wipe down the copy machine with a Clorox wipe.
- Run a symptom check on WebMD and send your coworkers the link.
- Tell them what bugs have been going around lately.
- Say something about probiotics even though you don’t know what that means.
- Tell them it’s probably viral even though you have no medical background whatsoever.
- Send them a link to an article on the dangers of antibiotics.
- Ask them if they’ve considered trying eastern medicine.
- Compare your own immune system to the ’90s Dallas Cowboys.
- Score some codeine.
- Mention that you don’t feel well, either, even though you’re just really hungover..
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