Me hungry! Me haunt dreams! ME CONSUME SOUL! AHHHH AHHHH AHHH!
29. T9 Texting
“hey I’ll be there in five miniscules”
28. 3D Doritos Ceased To Exist
Amazing how a chip that’s 95% air could be so delicious.
27. Avril Lavigne
Canada’s chief exports are maple syrup and horrible musical artists.
26. Trucker Hats
I blame Ashton.
25. Early Cell Phones
Hey, at least they had Snake.
24. Velour Sweatsuits
Ever wanted to look, feel, and smell exactly like a stuffed animal?
23. Jackass Reruns
I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is the same episode you’ve seen 48 times.
22. From Justin to Kelly
More like “From Box Office to Trash Can.”
21. Britney’s Bald Head
Me at age 13 would definitely still hit it.
20. Cleaning Tamagatchi Poop
Thank God PETA never lobbied for virtual pet rights.
19. Pokemon Above Number 151
It turns out that you don’t actually have to catch ‘em all.
“How can we make white people good at basketball?” “Let’s make the entire court a trampoline.”
17. Finger Skateboards
I’m only bitter because I never figured out how to do an ollie.
Let’s just pretend we never had accounts. It’s better that way.
Poor idea, worse execution. Unless you liked the thought of wearing platform shoes that you could kinda roll downhill with.
14. Ripped Jeans
We’re going to charge you 30 more dollars for 30% less denim.
13. Frosted Tips
Any time you’re having a good day, just remember that at one point in your life you thought these were cool.
12. Portable CD Players
It’s portable music! As long as you aren’t walking, jogging, shifting slightly, riding in a car, or moving in any way whatsoever. Anti-skip, my ass.
11. Primitive MP3 Players
You guys! I can listen to the same 16 songs as many times as I want without burning a CD!
10. Ugg Boots
Unleash your inner eskimo. It might be a 90 degree summer day, but at least you look fetch.
9. Ringback Tones
“You know what I wish? I wish that every time I called Jimmy I got to hear 5-15 grainy seconds of 50 Cent’s ‘In Da Club.’” -No One, Ever
Alright kids, buy this $10 plastic flute so we can teach you a completely irrelevant skill.
When failure in a sport equals a grotesque and painful injury, you’re gonna have a bad time.
6. Ja Rule
“WHAT WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOUUUUU?” A much happier person, apparently.
5. The XFL
The players can date the cheerleaders!? How BADASS is that!? Too bad the football was mediocre. At least the beginning of the games were cool.
4. The Spice Girls Breakup
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want: A reunion tour.
3. Tom Green
I wonder what back alley this guy is living in today?
2. Early Reality TV
The tribe has spoken: these shows sucked.
1. Abercrombie & Fitch
Because nothing makes you want to buy overpriced cargo shorts more than giant shirtless dude murals on the walls.