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27 Non-Sexual Turn-Ons That Really Get Guys Going

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Guys get stereotyped, for good reason, as people whose primary turn-ons are all physical. This is somewhat accurate for a lot of guys, but there are plenty of us who pay a lot more attention to the more nuanced things you ladies do. For some reason, there are certain small things you can do that aren’t even sexual in nature that can really get us going. Yes, I’m speaking from my own perspective here, but I’m willing to bet I’ll have a lot of agreement from other guys.

  1. Wearing glasses at night after you take out your contacts. Girls look so much different when they wear glasses, and it’s almost like we’re getting to date two people.
  2. The ability to tell a good dick joke. Boners are funny.
  3. Being almost comically competitive. We like it when you try really hard to beat us at stuff.
  4. The ability to speak knowledgeably about at least one of the following: a professional sport, classic rock, or the “Indiana Jones” franchise. For reference, don’t say “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is similar to “an old-school ‘National Treasure.’ ” That is a true story.
  5. Hating cats.
  6. Confidence. Not having to constantly validate that I’m still into you is refreshing.
  7. The ability to talk shit to my friends–and not get your feelings hurt when they talk shit back.
  8. Wearing my clothes around the house. We act like we don’t like it that you steal all of our sweatshirts. We’re lying. We do.
  9. Reading books. Young adult novels do not count, and they are, in fact, a turn-off.
  10. Knowing politics well enough to have an intelligent conversation about a variety of subjects, and also well enough to know that it’s all bullshit anyway.
  11. Being passionate about a subject I know absolutely nothing about.
  12. Throwing your hair up haphazardly like you don’t care. Being moderately disheveled can be cute.
  13. Being able to hold your liquor. I don’t want to worry that you’re a liability every time we go out just because you can’t help but end the night dancing on the bar and crying in the cab on the way home.
  14. Showing up with pizza. Or ordering a pizza. Basically anything to do with pizza.
  15. Swearing often, and in a creative fashion.
  16. Hating the same people I hate.
  17. Being really, really good at something. If you can paint, cook, swallow fire, rap every lyric from Illmatic, or weld metal sculptures, I want to see it.
  18. Telling a dad joke that’s so lame, the only proper response I can give is profanity.
  19. A deep repertoire of movie quotes.
  20. Toughness. You don’t have to be able to win a cage fight or complete a triathlon, but not being a baby about the small things doesn’t hurt. That’s my job.
  21. Musical ability.
  22. Having hard opinions about silly subjects.
  23. Being okay with eating shitty food and not spending the rest of the day self-consciously complaining about it.
  24. Drinking whiskey like a big girl.
  25. Treating everyone politely. This somehow has become a thing girls look for in guys, but don’t think we aren’t noticing how you treat the waiter, too.
  26. Ambition. This is easily the most important. I’m not talking about “I want to be famous, but I’m not doing anything worthy of attention” ambition. I mean the kind where you have a goal, and you spend a lot of your time and energy planning, trying, failing, and picking yourself back up in order to get there. I have no issue with dating a woman who makes more money than I make. Career and personal ambitions are sexier than pretty much anything.
  27. Except for a good butt. Butts always win.

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Randall J. Knox

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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