- Closing Outlook.
- Leaving early.
- That first sip of booze, even though some might say that’s a sign of alcoholism. I say to those people, “Cram it up your cram hole.”
- Catching up with my best friend, Netflix.
- Meeting up at the bar.
- Terrible reality TV show marathons. Whether it’s some garbage like Jersey Shore or Ghost Adventures, once my pants are off, I really don’t care.
- The drive home from work and not giving two shits about who saw me picking my nose.
- 48 hours to do whatever the hell I want, despite at least 12 of those hours being spent in a crippling hungover state.
- Happy hour.
- A checking account in the black.
- The cashier at the gas station asking about my weekend plans/trying to get me to say something pervy.
- Hitting the ATM and being all…
- Figuring out the math in my head and realizing that I can in fact take a nap before going out.
- The Friday Playlist.
- I would say pizza if I hadn’t eaten two Hot-N-Readies already this week.
- Getting the hot waitress.
- Calling my bookie.
- Planning a tailgate that I will more than likely be late for.
- GIving my diet the double middle finger salute.
- Taking over the jukebox with “Ignition (Remix)”
- The overwhelming feeling of “Fuck it” as you hand the bartender your debit card.
- Printing off an elaborate dinner recipe, but ordering Jimmy John’s instead.
- Completely ignoring every single email that hits your phone.
- Passing out on the couch.
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