I recently upgraded to an apartment with a full kitchen, meaning my opportunity to make delicious “home-cooked” meals has exponentially increased. The problem is that I don’t really know how to cook. I’m also extremely lazy. And poor. So that limits my dinner options.
What I’ve learned in my short time out of college is that I’m not alone. Almost nobody I know who recently graduated can cook worth a shit. It’s like no one bothered taking Home-Ec in high school, even though I’m pretty sure no high school offers that anymore. I haven’t eaten a good meal in months.
Here are the best postgrad “homemade” dinners to make when you are a shitty cook, ranked. My qualifications for “homemade” are very liberal here.
25. Hot dogs
Boiled? Great. Grilled? Great. Microwaved? Disgusting.
Limited work goes into this meal. That’s all that matters.
Scrambled? With some cheese on top? Can’t go wrong with that.
22. A bag of frozen chicken that is grilled all at once and eaten throughout the week
Better to get all the cooking done at once. Even though you’ll be sick of it by Wednesday.
A consistent winner.
20. Pizza (frozen)
Pro: Quick and easy. Con: Very mediocre.
19. Pizza (homemade)
Pro: Delicious. Con: Time-consuming.
18. Zucchini noodles (zoodles)
My girlfriend makes me eat these and they are surprisingly OK.
17. Kraft blue-box mac and cheese eaten directly out of the pot
Nothing tastes better than “cheese ingredient.”
16. Chips and salsa
Had this for dinner last night. It’ll get the job done.
Spaghetti with meat sauce is a delicacy in my apartment. It can feed you for a week.
This one is only here by submission. I hate oatmeal.
13. Peanut butter directly out of the jar
Why waste the time to put it on something?
For when “something” just sounds like too much.
11. Cheese quesadillas
A postgrad classic.
Super easy to prepare. Occasionally delicious. Consistently OK.
Lunchables are a man-child’s best friend.
Soup is a meal for quitters. A delicious one, though.
7. Costco samples
If you bring them home and put them on a plate, that’s a homemade meal in my book.
6. A piece of fruit
Eat the bananas before they rot.
5. Rotisserie chicken
Cut it up and put it on a shitty homemade salad. Look at you! You’re dieting now.
4. Lunch meat without the bread
3. Five string cheese sticks
Four just isn’t enough.
2. Bagel Bites
It’s homemade if you have to heat them up.
1. Frozen lasagna
Whatever brand you choose, it will never get better than a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna.
Have some problems with this list? Let us know in the comment section below. Or add your own to it. This list is not exhaustive, and we welcome new ideas to make our dinners just a little bit less shitty.
At what age do you have to start eating better than this? I don’t know. All I can tell you is that the correct answer is not 23..
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