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21 Power Moves Women Can Pull At The Office

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  1. Listen to a combination of Taylor Swift, Jewel, Fiona Apple, and Sheryl Crow. Don’t plug in your headphones.
  2. Superimpose your face onto a group photo of Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush, and Meryl Streep.
  3. Claim that you’re being sexually harassed every time you don’t get your way.
  4. Hold interviews for the available finance position. Only ask back young, attractive males between the ages of 22-25 for a second interview.
  5. Send out an office memo saying that you have a “feminine appointment” that will require you to be out of the office all day Friday. Go to the spa.
  6. Alternate between signing your emails with Gloria Steinem’s “I am woman, hear me roar” and Britney Spears’ “Work, bitch.”
  7. Pull out a magnifying glass so that you can “actually see” the newly engaged girl’s diamond.
  8. Expense your hair appointments, gym membership, and manicures.
  9. Refer to your assistant’s new baby as her pet.
  10. Order a screwdriver at your breakfast meeting.
  11. Send yourself flowers at work. Everyday.
  12. Refuse to answer to anything other than “Ms. Clinton.”
  13. Hang your “Pine Forest High School ‘07 Prom Queen” sash in your office. Wear the accompanying tiara around the workplace.
  14. Get your concealed carry permit. Leave the paperwork out on your desk along with your prescription for Valium.
  15. Ask your boss if he’s ever thought about leaving his wife.
  16. Read 50 Shades of Gray at your desk on your lunch break. Moan loudly.
  17. Send your male assistant out for tampons and Midol.
  18. Pack your lunch in a Victoria’s Secret bag. Leave a receipt for crotchless panties in the break room.
  19. Wink frequently and provocatively.
  20. Snort a pack of Splenda in the middle of a work lunch.
  21. Bring your therapist as your “plus one” to the office Christmas party.

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Catie Warren

Catie struggles with adulthood and has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with PGP, Catie was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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