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21 More Power Moves You Can Pull At Your Entry Level Job

bateman

Because a real outlaw with their sights set on middle-management shouldn’t settle for just 21 power moves.

  1. Call one of your friends each afternoon and pretend to negotiate a high stakes business deal for hours on end.
  2. Always end the final sentence of a phone call with their first name.
  3. Take the WSJ to the bathroom stall every morning.
  4. Try to show a coworker something on a firewalled website and then say, “Well, it worked on my computer.”
  5. Take a client to a strip club.
  6. Don’t respond to coworkers’ friend requests for at least two weeks. 90 days for LinkedIn requests.
  7. Keep a humidor full of Cohibas in your desk drawer.
  8. Change your LinkedIn profile picture once a month.
  9. When somebody asks you what your plans are for the weekend, just chuckle, say “We’ll see,” and walk away.
  10. BCC random coworkers on emails to your superior.
  11. Bring in donuts on someone’s birthday and eat them at your desk instead of sharing them.
  12. Book first-class on your first business trip.
  13. Date two coworkers at the same time.  Orchestrate an elaborate web of lies until it falls apart and HR has to intervene.
  14. Wrap up a phone call by saying, “Hey, gotta go. T. Boone Pickens just walked in.”
  15. Tell your team you’re applying to Harvard Business School.
  16. Park in visitor parking every day.
  17. Say, “This is the kind of stuff they don’t teach you in business school,” even though you graduated with a communications degree.
  18. For each new policy communicated in a meeting, ask how it will affect your bonus.
  19. Audibly entertain headhunters on your cubicle phone.
  20. Take over meetings with your own agenda.
  21. Max out your company credit card within a week of receiving it.

Editor’s note: Again, some, if not all of these, will get you fired.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting inappropriately drunk in public.

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