Columns

20 Things ’90s Sports Movies Taught Me About Sports

1. Only fat people can be goalies.

goldberg

2. Dogs are incredible athletic specimens.

airbudgoldenreceiver_photo_03

3. You can hit a home run, no matter how bad you suck at baseball.

tumblr_ly28aeiQtt1qbmmf7o1_500

4. Japanese baseball players will question your manhood.

marbles41

5. Iceland is really good at hockey, despite never fielding an Olympic hockey team.

Wolf-Stansson-e1365003351189

6. Kickers are emotionally unstable people.

dan marino Ace Vantura

7. Don’t bench your best player just because he’s dating your mom.

MV5BNDM3MzYxMTY0OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTExNDAxMw@@._V1._SX640_SY446_

8. Don’t call him Rocket anymore.

movie-of-the-day-rookie-of-the-year-L-EQT1St

9. Your abusive peewee hockey coach will cause you more torment than losing your father at a young age.

f7

10. Heisman candidates have terrible drinking habits.

the-program-movie

11. Listen to the wise janitor.

rudy-movie-clip-screenshot-prove-what_large

12. An inner city, pick up roller hockey game is the ultimate team building exercise.

13. Make the nerdiest kid in your neighborhood the offensive coordinator.

puerto-rico

14. Playing high school football at West Canaan is not the opportunity of a lifetime.

varsity-blues-19

15. Just call him AL.

screen-shot-2012-05-30-at-11-39-53-am

16. Water is for cowards. Water makes you weak. Water makes you tired.

6a0120a6dde087970b016763880314970b-800wi

17. Major League Baseball players are incapable of not taking double dares.

Screen Shot 2013-10-11 at 3.15.49 PM

18. If you’re going to throw a perfect game, do it in the last game of your career.

Screen Shot 2013-10-11 at 2.59.50 PM

19. Good things start happening when you get to the montage.

20. There’s no crying in baseball.

tumblr_meny4788ls1r1lmyro1_500

Email this to a friend

Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

15 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More