Do you remember summer? I hear it’s happening now, but it doesn’t exactly feel that way in the icy depths of my office.
Let’s face it. Once August hit during your summer vacations, you were beyond ready to return to college, a place where it was perfectly acceptable to be blackout. Now, you would murder one of your coworkers for the chance to return to your hometown for just a month of home cooking. Maybe you’re longing for your college campus, where it was normal to take a single summer class that allowed you to drink the rest of your days away. You might miss camp the most, because who wouldn’t want to lay on the lake with a hundred of their closest friends? Whatever your best memories are, you’re having trouble thinking back that far now that “summer” means one hour at the pool on Sunday, if you’re not too hungover and the weather holds.
Your teacher friends might have to put up with snot-nosed rugrats or angsty pre-teens, but at least they have a couple months of downtime. When college friends ask what you’re doing for summer, you look at them blankly, because it’s exactly what you do every other month of the year—avoiding your boss, enjoying happy hour, and dreaming of your dwindling vacation days. The only change, as far as you can tell, is that it’s so hot outside that putting on a suit for work is like entering a fiery depth of hell.
Here are 20 reasons you miss summer vacation:
- Developing a rock solid tan that makes it look like you took the most tropical vacation of your life, even if it really came from the community pool. There are no UV rays in your cubicle, only the light sensitivity you’ve developed from the fluorescent lights in your office.
- Going on vacation stress-free. You didn’t have to constantly check for e-mails from your boss, who doesn’t seem to grasp what a “vacation” entails. Also, your parents were paying for everything.
- While your internship may have stressed you out, the second you left the office that stress was forgotten. Not anymore. That stress follows you like your shadow.
- Your high school friends were all in the same place. When you catch up now it’s a couple of times a year with a significant other in tow.
- Even if you weren’t making beaucoup bucks scooping ice cream, those paychecks seemed a lot larger since you weren’t having to pay rent with mom and dad.
- Your refrigerator was stocked. Now, you’re lucky if there’s something other than vodka in your freezer.
- Your mom might have been overbearing, but your boss is far worse. Especially since your mother has to love you.
- Your parents took amazing care of you, and now you’re taking care of yourself, which you’re actually terrible at.
- Day drinking tropical cocktails was the norm. It could get weird if you start slamming Rum Runners in the office. Plus, you vowed to cut back on sugar.
- Going out nightly was easy, because you rolled up to your internship around 11.
- Summer was stress-free, other than minimal required reading for your English class. With the advent of the iPhone, there’s no escaping the office.
- Summer blockbusters are the worst these days. Case in point: Grown Ups 2.
- Going out of town used to be expected. Your boss looks at you in disdain when you ask to use a single vacation day.
- Summer flings no longer exists. Adult relationships just aren’t as seasonal.
- You can’t spend every day at the beach, because there’s nowhere to charge your laptop.
- You don’t even have a swimming pool if the urge to work on your tan overcomes you.
- You can’t return to camp, as much as you’d like to. Say goodbye to s’mores, (almost) completely innocent hookups, and bunk best friends…unless you want to become the creepy old Arts & Crafts director, which is always an option.
- You slept in every single day. You currently consider it sleeping in if you make it past 8am.
- Living at home meant you never had to worry about the air conditioning bill climbing to obscene heights once the summer heat kicked in.
- Your biggest focus was what to wear on your first day of school, which seemed incredibly stressful at the time. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
Trying to recreate the childhood summers you’re so nostalgic for just isn’t the same. Spraying for roaches in your apartment isn’t like applying bug spray around the campfire, and the ice cold showers you have to take when you’re A/C breaks aren’t as refreshing as a dip in the pool. However, there are some summertime perks you didn’t experience as a kid, like fabulous happy hour specials, blackout bar crawls, and the most important one of all: school’s out forever. Yes, summer’s the worst when it doesn’t actually feel like summer at all, but think of it this way—in the future you’ll have an infinite summer. After all, there’s always retirement to look forward to.