College: Take the shrink-wrap off your textbooks during finals week.
Grad School: Take the shrink-wrap off your textbooks following your alma mater’s homecoming.
College: Wikipedia is your bread and butter.
Grad School: You go to the commercial course outline well, and you do it often.
College: More attention-deficit meds than a pharmacy.
Grad School: More coffee than a barista.
College: All-nighters at the lib.
Grad School: Reading in bed until 4am.
College: Gotta love the test bank.
Grad School: Hoping that an old exam hasn’t been checked out of the library.
College: Smoke breaks to reward yourself at the bottom of every hour.
Grad School: Walks to the bathroom to stretch your legs at the bottom of every hour.
College: Facebook creeping between chapters.
Grad School: See who’s on Gchat between chapters.
College: Ordering Jimmy John’s delivery before closing time is a must.
Grad School: Wasting fifteen minutes warming up frozen dinners in the middle of the night.
College: Be honest with yourself. Those notecards were never going to be used.
Grad School: Be honest with yourself. Those notecards you spent six hours preparing aren’t going to help whatsoever.
College: The library might as well be the bar with the amount of flirting, laughing and all-around noise.
Grad School: You shoot dirty looks at anyone who so much as blinks loudly.
College: Music is strictly of the pump-up variety. Looking at you, Eminem.
Grad School: Hitting up “The Dark Side of Beethoven” on Spotify.
College: If God only slept on Sundays, that’s good enough for you.
Grad School: The seventh circle of hell is anything less than four hours.
College: No need to stress. Only a complete idiot would fail to pull off a 3.0.
Grad school: Thanks to the curve, a 3.0 will take the best gameday performance of your life.
College: There’s always summer classes if you bomb.
Grad school: You really should have taken this course as a pass-fail.
College: With three mid-terms, participation points, and homework assignments compounded with the final exam, you have some buffer room to slip up here.
Grad school: One exam to rule them all, one exam to find them, one exam to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
College: Spend more time memorizing basic formulas and talking points.
Grad school: Spend more time memorizing exactly where everything is on your outline.
College: Office hours with the professor? Yeah, right.
Grad School: Office hours with the professor? Definitely regret not going.
College: Thank God for storing all your notes in your test-allowable iPhone.
Grad School: Hard to cheat when the only thing you can have on your desk is your student ID.
College: It wouldn’t kill the professor to provide more than a half-page of printer paper for each answer.
Grad School: There’s really no excuse for blue books not to use college-rule line margins.
College: After the exam, straight to the bar.
Grad School: After the exam, straight back to bed.