10 Things I Miss About College Football

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1. Tailgates

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Duh. The best part about college football is tailgating. It’s an almost primal ritual where you build a fire, cook the flesh of slaughtered animals, drink your weight in beer and rally up for your school. Or, if your team sucks, you’re just there to get really, really drunk during the day.

2. Early Morning Tailgates

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Some of my fondest memories were waking up to a friend screaming in my face at 7am, telling me to get out of bed for tailgate, while I fought back against my raging hangover from Friday night. Walking out into the brisk, autumn air, I knew how most poets felt whenever they wrote about brisk, autumn air, and why they felt compelled to write about it. It’s fantastic. And then I piled eggs and bacon into my face and drank seven screwdrivers and enough Red Bull to kill an elephant. I did it for you, Robert Frost.

3. The Bar Scene

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KEGS ‘N EGGS. Beer and breakfast food. Is there anything better? Going to a bar on gameday is great. College football season is also prime patio drinking season. I can remember sitting atop a second floor patio on a gameday during my senior year and telling myself to never forget how it felt. Good thing I never did.

4. The Food

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Burgers, bacon, brats, barbecue, boullion, beer, b-words. Be gluttonous.

5. The Band

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College football hits you with wave after wave of nirvana. The largest wave prior to kickoff comes the first time you hear the band play the fight song, whether it’s at a bar over the speakers or from the band itself, marching through the streets on the way to the stadium. I have cried on several occasions after hearing the fight song on visits back to campus.

6. Weeknight #MACtion

Toledo N Illinois Football

You want college football with college basketball scores? There’s nothing like some mid-week MACtion (Mid-American Conference-action) to cure any type of depression or anxiety, unless you were a defensive coordinator in a past life. I couldn’t tell you where Northern Illinois or Central Michigan’s campuses are, but a good guess would be Touchdown City, USA (high fives everyone). #MACtion!

7. The Girls

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*nods head*

8. College Gameday

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The voices of fall wake me up each morning. The official start of any college football Saturday begins with Chris Fowler, Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard and the lovely Sam Ponder. It’s the grown-up version of Saturday morning cartoons, except I don’t sit Indian-style two feet from the TV, while eating Apple Jacks (I do).

9. Going To Away Games

Missouri v Tennessee

Thank god the Founding Fathers made freedom of expression their number one priority on the Bill of Rights, because nothing says America like telling people in their hometown that their quarterback sucks a bag of hobo dicks. Traveling with the team is all about class.

10. The Afternoon Nap

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Hoarse, hungover, tired and worn out from a long day of rooting for your team on the gridiron can take it out of even the best of us. Crashing into my bed with a big glass of water next to me, a game on the tube and maybe even some bed pizza to wash down the taste of victory or erase the bitterness of defeat. The afternoon nap is easily the most underrated part of college football season.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting inappropriately drunk in public. I'm the managing editor of this website. Direct all complaints to customer service. Email me: Brian@Grandex.co

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  1. 11
    JDbro

    College football now – I drink 10 beers on my couch. If I’m lucky I go to a bar.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  2. 6
    Frank_the_Tank

    Love the list, minus something about team entrances, but Enter Sandman is hard to beat. Though it was the lovely Erin Andrews back in McGannon’s day.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  3. 2
    Han Solo

    I’m sitting in my office figuring out how to make a countdown to the first home game.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  4. -1
    USArmy

    I think I enjoy college football more now than when I was in college. I’ve subscribed to ESPN college game plan every August. IMO, there is nothing greater than coming back to my hunting camp after sitting in the stand all day, eating some enchiladas and watching the Saturday night game while drinking a couple iced cold Shiner Jock’s.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
    • 0
      USArmy

      Shiner “Jocks”? Good lord. People like me shouldn’t own smartphones. Shiner. Bocks.

      Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
      • 1
        Brian McGannon

        I guess I was blessed to go to a school that was really good at football while I was there. I think it varies.

        Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
        • -1
          USArmy

          That’s great! I wasn’t disagreeing with your article. It was good and I agree with it. I think my experience just comes from loving Autumn more than any other season. I combine my two favorite things (hunting & college football) and it just makes the cooler time of the year THAT much more enjoyable.

          Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  5. -4
    Tom Smykowski

    I have a raging chubby right now from reading this. Yet, it also makes me realize how fucking depressing life is now.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago